anti-social commentaries version 2.1
Monday, March 31, 2003
Sunday, March 30, 2003
I Love You # 1
A boy and girl are on the phone talking... the boy is looking out his window at the foliage of fall.
A boy and girl are on the phone talking... the boy is looking out his window at the foliage of fall.
Boy: Okay, I'm going to say it. I promised that I would say it today.
Girl: Okay, go ahead.
Boy: I love you.
Operator: You have ONE minute remaining.
Boy and Girl laugh.
Boy: What the hell was that?
Girl (laughing): I don't know.
Boy: It's like, "I love You have one minute remaining." Anyways, I love you.
Girl: I love you too.
Saturday, March 29, 2003
Off Track...
I thought I'd go off track for a second. I was just going to blog about stuff that's happened over the last few months, but there's something I'd like to say.. someone in the life of someone I'm extremely close with just died and it saddens me. Death is something I'm oddly okay with. I don't know why... I just am. It's life that's always bothered me. The idea that everything continues on without this special someone is just sad. I'm remembering to when my Grandmother died and people would come up to me and say, "Condolences." I'm feeling like shit, my Grandmother who I can honestly say I loved had just died, and my pain and your understanding of it comes down to one word - Condolences. I wanted to say, "Fuck off" to people who said shit like that to me.
Let us keep those who have recently passed in our hearts...
I thought I'd go off track for a second. I was just going to blog about stuff that's happened over the last few months, but there's something I'd like to say.. someone in the life of someone I'm extremely close with just died and it saddens me. Death is something I'm oddly okay with. I don't know why... I just am. It's life that's always bothered me. The idea that everything continues on without this special someone is just sad. I'm remembering to when my Grandmother died and people would come up to me and say, "Condolences." I'm feeling like shit, my Grandmother who I can honestly say I loved had just died, and my pain and your understanding of it comes down to one word - Condolences. I wanted to say, "Fuck off" to people who said shit like that to me.
Let us keep those who have recently passed in our hearts...
It's You For the First Time
Boy and Girl are in a bubble tea cafe enjoying Mint Chocolate Coffee with Tapioca balls.
Boy: This has been the best week ever.
Girl: Why? Because of Her.
Boy: Yea... and I'm meeting you too, but yea, her. You have no idea what I'm feeling. I've dreamt about finding her for years and... ya know. It's just really great to have my best-friend back.
Friday, March 28, 2003
It's You Again
Girl: You and I have to get married one day.
Boy: I know.
Girl: I don't care if you're 45 and already married. We have to get married.
Boy: I know.
Girl: Promise?
Boy: I promise.
Proper Screen Play Format:
I'm still in school and I'm just about to wrap up my first year. School itself, to say the least, is nothing like the movies. Maybe it's because I go to a crappy school that's in the middle of a field? I don't know. But I'm really busy with school now. I went to school for 12 hours yesterday. You must be thinking, "University sounds hard." But it's not... I've slacked off all year and I have a 70+ average. But now it's crunch time and I must actually do work.
But I will still update the site everyday using my old screen play format trick.
I'm still in school and I'm just about to wrap up my first year. School itself, to say the least, is nothing like the movies. Maybe it's because I go to a crappy school that's in the middle of a field? I don't know. But I'm really busy with school now. I went to school for 12 hours yesterday. You must be thinking, "University sounds hard." But it's not... I've slacked off all year and I have a 70+ average. But now it's crunch time and I must actually do work.
But I will still update the site everyday using my old screen play format trick.
Thursday, March 27, 2003
One Foolish Line:
The Black and Red template is back and anti-social commentaries is back online after a seven month hiatus. I left off last year about to start school, finished with the idea of falling in love, and was afraid of what was to come. Well, I come to you a changed man… boy. I still don’t consider myself a man, just a boy who’s the biggest in his class.
The sequel, the spin-off, and the sophomore jinx. It’s hard to follow something up and even harder to do well. I don’t know if anti-social commentaries version 2.0 will be as good as the first one, but I really don’t care. This site, just like the last one, will reflect my thoughts and will give the few people in my life an opportunity to keep track on me over the next few months. Will this be a Back to the Future II, Jeffersons, or Pinkerton? Or will this be a Back to the Future III, Top of the Heap, or Fairweather Johnson?
To say my life has changed would be a fair assessment, but you would never know how much has changed. Why have I changed? Is it because of University giving me direction and it leading me into the future? Definitely not. Is it because of the people I have befriend over the year and have gained some sort of trust with? Those four people… no, not really. Why? You must be asking yourself why. I’ll take you back to some old comments from the good old site:
I found her… or she found me. My best-friend came back into my life. The one person I told all of my secrets with. The one person I shared my suicidal thoughts with. The one person I trusted… the one I honestly trusted. She found me. After years of searching for one another, she found me. I used to spend entire Sundays on the internet searching for her. Typing her name in search engines and what have you. And over the last four years that we’ve been apart she tells me that she’s checked the weather where I live everyday. That’s one of the sweetest things anyone has done for me.
We were best-friends again in an instant. In an instant… it was as if nothing had changed at all, though so much actually did. I found my best-friend and I just cried tears of happiness for a few days. And then days passed… weeks passed… and we fell in love. Yes, your anti-social commentator has fallen in love. I had given up on love at the time… I just didn’t care anymore because I didn’t think I could ever find anyone to live up to the expectations in my mind. And you know what? She didn’t. She’s nothing like what I had in mind. She’s so much more. What I wanted was someone… well, you should all know about my ideal girl… but what I needed was to fall in love with someone that was like my best-friend. And no one is more like my best-friend than my best-friend.
It hasn’t been a perfect and pleasant time all the time over the last few months… ups and downs… but that’s just natural. There’s no such thing as perfection… and I’m glad about that. But I’m okay. I can honestly say I’m okay. I’m actually looking forward to next few months. I’m looking forward to the next years. I am looking forward to the rest of my life. I’m still filled with words and dreams and a million screams, but she’s there to share them with me now.
You may be wondering about new web address, well, this is why:
Only Of You by Green Day
I wish I could tell you
But the words would come out wrong
Oh if you only knew
The way I felt for so long
I know that we're worlds apart
But I just don't seem to care
These feelings in my heart
Only with you I want to share
The first time I caught a glimpse of you
Then my thoughts were only of you
I hope that when time goes by
You will think the same about me
Many nights awake I lie
I only wish that you could see
I know that we're only friends
I hope this feeling never ends
If I could only hold you
It's the only thing I want to do.
The first time I caught a glimpse of you
Then my thoughts were only of you
I can go on and on about my life and my love try to write it down into a perfect sonnet, but I think I’ll settle for one foolish line:
I am now one of the lucky ones.
The Black and Red template is back and anti-social commentaries is back online after a seven month hiatus. I left off last year about to start school, finished with the idea of falling in love, and was afraid of what was to come. Well, I come to you a changed man… boy. I still don’t consider myself a man, just a boy who’s the biggest in his class.
The sequel, the spin-off, and the sophomore jinx. It’s hard to follow something up and even harder to do well. I don’t know if anti-social commentaries version 2.0 will be as good as the first one, but I really don’t care. This site, just like the last one, will reflect my thoughts and will give the few people in my life an opportunity to keep track on me over the next few months. Will this be a Back to the Future II, Jeffersons, or Pinkerton? Or will this be a Back to the Future III, Top of the Heap, or Fairweather Johnson?
To say my life has changed would be a fair assessment, but you would never know how much has changed. Why have I changed? Is it because of University giving me direction and it leading me into the future? Definitely not. Is it because of the people I have befriend over the year and have gained some sort of trust with? Those four people… no, not really. Why? You must be asking yourself why. I’ll take you back to some old comments from the good old site:
Octorber 2001
My exact what if for the future is unclear, but I know it will involve Gina to some extent. No one helped grow as much she helped me. No one taught more than she did. No one made me feel better about myself than she did. And no one ever said "I love you" to me other than her -- I just recalled that now.
Friday, May 31, 2002
My one regret is losing track of Gina and losing track of her. She was important to me. She helped me evolve into what I am today (that is a compliment). She helped me is the main thing. She helped me grow and helped me understand myself. I miss her a lot. I think about her all of the time. I try to forget, but the more I remember. Yesterday I was at work and my supervisor says, "Ryan, can you put the vacuum away for me." I turn my chair to the left and look at the vacuum and almost start to cry. "Regina" is the name brand of the vacuum. I miss her and she's a regret that I hopefully can change.
I found her… or she found me. My best-friend came back into my life. The one person I told all of my secrets with. The one person I shared my suicidal thoughts with. The one person I trusted… the one I honestly trusted. She found me. After years of searching for one another, she found me. I used to spend entire Sundays on the internet searching for her. Typing her name in search engines and what have you. And over the last four years that we’ve been apart she tells me that she’s checked the weather where I live everyday. That’s one of the sweetest things anyone has done for me.
We were best-friends again in an instant. In an instant… it was as if nothing had changed at all, though so much actually did. I found my best-friend and I just cried tears of happiness for a few days. And then days passed… weeks passed… and we fell in love. Yes, your anti-social commentator has fallen in love. I had given up on love at the time… I just didn’t care anymore because I didn’t think I could ever find anyone to live up to the expectations in my mind. And you know what? She didn’t. She’s nothing like what I had in mind. She’s so much more. What I wanted was someone… well, you should all know about my ideal girl… but what I needed was to fall in love with someone that was like my best-friend. And no one is more like my best-friend than my best-friend.
It hasn’t been a perfect and pleasant time all the time over the last few months… ups and downs… but that’s just natural. There’s no such thing as perfection… and I’m glad about that. But I’m okay. I can honestly say I’m okay. I’m actually looking forward to next few months. I’m looking forward to the next years. I am looking forward to the rest of my life. I’m still filled with words and dreams and a million screams, but she’s there to share them with me now.
You may be wondering about new web address, well, this is why:
Only Of You by Green Day
I wish I could tell you
But the words would come out wrong
Oh if you only knew
The way I felt for so long
I know that we're worlds apart
But I just don't seem to care
These feelings in my heart
Only with you I want to share
The first time I caught a glimpse of you
Then my thoughts were only of you
I hope that when time goes by
You will think the same about me
Many nights awake I lie
I only wish that you could see
I know that we're only friends
I hope this feeling never ends
If I could only hold you
It's the only thing I want to do.
The first time I caught a glimpse of you
Then my thoughts were only of you
I can go on and on about my life and my love try to write it down into a perfect sonnet, but I think I’ll settle for one foolish line:
I am now one of the lucky ones.
Tuesday, March 25, 2003
Monday, March 24, 2003
Not Quite...
I want to bring back my old website... the good old days of anti-social commentaries. Over the months I recieved a lot of touching words from various people over what I wrote, felt, and went through about seven months ago. So, I'm going to bring it back soon... right now, the site is under construction, but soon I will write again. Things have changed. I have changed. I've found something that I always wanted... two things that I always wanted. And I will share soon.
I want to bring back my old website... the good old days of anti-social commentaries. Over the months I recieved a lot of touching words from various people over what I wrote, felt, and went through about seven months ago. So, I'm going to bring it back soon... right now, the site is under construction, but soon I will write again. Things have changed. I have changed. I've found something that I always wanted... two things that I always wanted. And I will share soon.
